A Little Too Late
by Karen Hikari
Summary: He had convince dhimself that there was no way Alec Lightwood was capable to stop everything, to make his whole world stop simply by not being there. But he was wrong. It had taken him six stupid, useless, painful years to realize it, but that was why he'd come back―a little too late, apparently, a little until he had really lost him.
**Now, before you say you hate me and start throwing tomatoes at me, I will warn you since now: this is pure and throbbing angst. There's no happy end, there's no reunion. There's just angst, okay?**

 **So, to the story... I... well, a long time ago, a friend of mine asked me what did I think would have happened if Magnus and Alec had never gotten back together, if Alec had married someone else and had his own responsabilities when Magnus came back looking for him. This is that story.**

 **Please don't hate me, I know I'm a terrible person already, this is just an experiment, alright? I'm an absolute Malec shipper and I promise you'll have some fluff with them soon so you don't hate me.**

 **Now, to the story!**

* * *

 ** _A Little Too Late_**

* * *

To say that someone that had lived as much as Magnus Bane had bore a whole ton of regrets wasn't ludicrous. It was more like… accurate.

However, if there was one thing, one single thing he regretted more than anything else, that was, without a doubt, having dumped Alexander Lightwood like he had.

A few years had passed―six years and seventy days, not that he'd been counting. Things had changed, leaves had withered; rain had fallen, he'd met new people and no matter how seasons changed no matter what tone of green or brown the eyes of his new lover's were he kept looking for that enchanting sapphire blue orbs he had lost.

It had taken him this long to recognize his monumental mistake and gather enough courage to actually go back a with his tail between his legs and a whole load of regrets to see, _see_ if the unrivalled Alexander Lightwood had even spared him a thought once in all those years.

He hadn't been in New York for a long time, almost three years, fearing more than he dared to admit an encounter with either Alexander or any of his family members.

At the time he knocked the Institute's door, after staying awake for almost a week, his voice shook and the bouquet of hydrangeas trembled in his hands.

As, ever so slowly he heard someone nearing the door, his heart almost broke his ribs with the strength with which it was beating.

However, when the crack in the door opened to reveal not Alexander, but Isabelle Lightwood, he couldn't hide his disappointment.

He hadn't changed, not in the least, not if you left apart the bags under his eyes or the cornered look of his features, but she had, if only a little that became all too noticeable after he hadn't seen her for so long, like the vague wrinkles that had started to surround her eyes due to the permanent worry she encountered.

"Magnus?" she murmured with delated pupils.

"Isabelle" he answered back, thinking, not for the first time, that all of this was a mistake. "I was wondering if… I… If Alexander is here".

At his words, Isabelle's expression instantly changed. Her jaw dropped in something that wasn't surprise but the incapacity to reply and her eyebrows raised and the furrowed, as if in deep thought.

"Oh Magnus" she whispered. "Don't you know? You arrive too late! Alec is married".

This time, it was Magnus' turn to feel surprised and lose his breath, to feel his heart stop and the words leave his mouth.

"What?" he managed in a shaky voice.

"Magnus…" she murmured. "After… after the incident Alec and my parents started to have a lot of… discussions. My father was convinced that all of this was your fault and that you had… played him to bring shame on our family and…. Don't you want to come in?" she interrupted herself, stepping back so Magnus could enter the building; noticing Magnus' reluctance to enter, she smiled kindly. "Mom isn't here" she assured; Magnus didn't ask where Robert was.

"Who did he marry?" the warlock asked, still trying to process the information. Isabelle grimaced.

"Aline Penhallow" she whispered, just to begin gesturing with her hands right after. "It was an arranged marriage, really. Aline was dating Helen Blackthorn, a half-fairy and… well, you know the issue with downworlders so… yeah. They… they married to pretend. You know shadowhunters tend to do that quite a lot. Not that we should be proud about it" she added softly.

"How did this happen?" the warlock wondered in a voice so low it took Isabelle a minute to realize he was actually asking her and not just thinking aloud.

"He… he never got over you" Isabelle replied, deciding to be honest at least. "After you two broke up he called you a thousand times but you… you never answered. One day he decided to see if you'd open the door or talk to him, so he went to your apartment and the door was open, he entered, but… you were already with someone else" she finished, her faze fallen to the ground and her hands turned into fists, as if she was remembering it and the thought still hurt her.

Only when the dense silence fell over them did they realize that they were actually walking instead of just standing by the front door of the building. And Magnus was following Isabelle, who was unconsciously directing the visitor to the Institute's office, where she knew Alec was.

Magnus remembered that night too, better than he did much others. He had a good alibi―that night, after having heard his phone ringing for endless hours knowing it was Alec, the one and only person he wanted to talk to but refusing to answer, he finally left the device at home and tried something other than pretending to read Oscar Wilde, something that included drinking a little too much. By the time he had actually started talking to Harry or Henry or whatever he was so drunk he could hardly reply to what he was being asked.

And yes, yes, he had kissed him―right after stupidly agreeing to take him to his house. He had kissed him because he wanted to distract himself, to convince himself that there was no way Alec Lightwood, with his bright blue eyes and shy smile was so important, so very capable to stop everything, to make his whole world stop simply by not being there.

But it was wrong, it was totally wrong and he realized so just after his lips touched Harry's or Henry's or whatever's and he kicked the guy out and, by the name of the Angel, he hadn't ever invited anyone to his lobby after the stupid incident.

Alexander Lightwood really was capable of all that; there really wasn't anyone after Alexander, there really wouldn't be―but he only understood that then.

It had taken him six stupid, useless, painful years to realize it, but that was why he'd come back―a little too late, apparently, a little until he had really lost him.

"Is he happy?" he inquired, knowing there was nothing else he could say.

"He… he is" the girl whispered. "It took time, but they… they've reached an arrangement. Aline and he... they're… friends. They don't love each other" she said. "Not romantically, at least, but they live together and they work things out. They're running this Institute now. Mom still lives here and dad permanently stays at Idris. I come and go. Clary and Jace run the Los Angeles Institute" he concluded.

"And aren't you married?" he asked, more out of the need to hear someone else's voice than out of genuine curiosity.

Isabelle, although sensing his disinterest, still answered calmly. "No, I'm not. After Simon died during the way I haven't… haven't really been interested in anyone".

"I'm sorry" Magnus let out, sincerely this time. "But allow me to ask you something more, darling, haven't your parents screamed their lungs out because you haven't celebrated a wedding?" at his words, thought carefully not to hurt her, Isabelle smiled with mockery.

"They certainly aren't happy" she admitted. "But it's not important. I'm not like Alec and they won't ruin my life the way they did his. Besides, Alec and Jace married rightful shadowhunters the sexes they're supposed to marry, so they really don't care about what I do" she concluded, not with rage, not with fury, but with the indifference honesty bears.

In all honesty, Magnus couldn't think of anything to tell her and when she didn't reply anything either, silence fell over them like the irrevocable sentence of a prisoner.

Magnus did not really remember what he was doing there until the tapping of Isabelle's heels stopped in front of an ajar door and the warlock listened the childish sound of an innocent laughter that he even remembered what he was doing there in the first place. And he felt sick and he almost reached for Isabelle's arm for support.

"Did they… Did he… Children?" he managed in a weak voice. Isabelle could only pull a sad smile and deny with her head.

"No. Not a chance" she replied softly. "They have arranged things now, but they wouldn't do that to a child".

"Then who…?"

"That's Jace's and Clary's boy, Jade. He's here for a couple of weeks" she clarified with a smile that seemed happier, if only a bit; that until nervousness invaded her features again and she started to fidget. "You know, if you… if you and Alec are going to talk I'll take him with me. Aline won't be here until tomorrow. It's just us. Besides, if you need to know, she's continued seeing Helen. Alec knows, we all know. It's part of their arrangement, he really could see you again".

Just as the name old his old lover left the girl's lips, Magnus felt himself come back to reality. And reality hurt and his knees went weak. For a moment he almost… he almost raised his hand to reach for the doorknob, but then… then his hand shook because he couldn't, he just couldn't, not to Alexander.

This was his fault, after all. No matter how Isabelle's voice didn't sound angry, no matter how he had blamed himself enough already, no matter how much he regretted it―this was all his fault.

Had he not been so stupid, so reckless, so naïve, then maybe… maybe he'd still have the one and only person he had verified he couldn't live without.

But he was stupid enough to believe that someone like Alexander Lightwood could be replaced by a common nobody. He had been stupid enough to throw away the one good thing he had in his life.

If he tried hard enough, he even could picture that boy, four, maybe, not older than five, sitting on Alec's lap, laughing cheerfully with the sparkle of one who knew he was loved. And Alec, oh Alec, with a crooked smile that gave the fondness he felt away, his gorgeous blue eyes beaming. In another world, that could have been _their child_. In another world, this could have been _their_ life.

But it was a little too late now, apparently.

He couldn't do this, not to him, not to the wonderful, innocent, loving Alec Lightwood he had dumped years in the past so heedlessly.

And so he turned around and he didn't even notice the withered hydrangeas that had slipped from his hands and to the floor. And he left. He left because it was a little too late now, because Alec had moved on, at least he'd done what he could and he, the one who had forced the shadowhunter into this situation in the first place had no right to appear now, so many years later. He left because he knew how much loyalty meant for Alexander, and reappearing after all the damage he'd caused would be a torture for the boy.

Alec had only one short life, after all, while he had eternity to regret his stupidity.

As he watched the warlock leave, Isabelle felt the burning need to run after him and tell him to please enter, to please talk to her brother, to say that Alec really had never forgotten him, that he still spent the day they'd broken up locked in the library.

She wanted to tell Magnus how, if not in the whole shadowhunter world, at least in the New York Institute things had changed, that downworlders were welcomed there, any downworlder. Both Aline and Alec were thankfully open-minded and the both had agreed in that point. However, Alec had never been able to speak to a warlock or be in contact with magic; vampires, yes; fairies, yes, mermaids, yes―but not warlocks. He hadn't entered a portal ever since Magnus and he had broken up and he preferred to actually use a plane when he needed to travel to Idris.

But she didn't―she couldn't. This was something that she couldn't fix by simply snapping her fingers.

It was too late now, a little too late, and not even magic could make things right.

* * *

 **Emm... *shyly appears in screen* Was it that bad? I know, my poor babies!**

 **So, the reason I chose Aline is plainly because she is a lesbian. I don't ship her with Alec, I just decided to stick to a homophobic shadowhunter and force them all to be unhappy.**

 **Please don't hate me for the angst, I swear at first I didn't like the idea but then... life happened...**

 **Anyways, love you and read you soon!**


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